Memoirs of a Sinner...

PNW Campmeeting...

2008-06-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

WOW...my only regret for the week was that I didn't get there until Wednesday morning. The tandem of speakers were great. Dr. Mike Chapman of City Church of Chattanooga did a lights out job in the morning sessions. Please, if you are a church leader, get the series from his website. I will continue to pimp this series until I am confident that everyone has heard it, or that I am a clanging cymbal. It was life and ministry changing for me. I put into words many things that I have desired, but had no way of contextualizing. Dr. Chapman put the legs to what my heart desires. At one point Thursday morning I leaned in to my wife and said, "this is why I want to pastor."
Then in the evenings we were blessed with Chris Moody, pastor of South Cleveland COG. He gets a wrap as a "company man", but his heart is certainly in the right place. He is trying to reach the lost, and when push comes to shove, what else matters?? Man, can he preach!! It was hard to believe that he is only 35 years old. I had better start working on my shouting and spontaneous bursts into singing - I've only got 6 years to be there - hahaha!! Really, though, he was a great speaker, and wonderful man of God. I was able to not only enjoy his preaching, but had the chance to speak with him briefly several times, and he truly is a genuinely nice guy.
As far as music, like I said, I showed up late, so my view is a little small. I was able to play bass and help lead worship on Wednesday night with several other younger people. I think that at 29 I was the oldest person on the platform, but there may have been one or two older than me. It was a blast working and playing with people that were so young and energetic.
I was also able to sing harmony and play bass both Wednesday and Thursday morning. Thursday night we had a church lead worship that only recently joined the denomination. They were tremendous. They had one guy who could absolutely sing higher than any guy I have ever heard...he was ridiculously talented - as was their entire group.
So, Bishop Dority has left himself quite a standard for the years to come with this line-up, but it was a great week, and I look forward to the future.

PNW Men's Meeting...

2008-06-09T07:54:00.001-07:00

Saturday, June 7th was a good day. On the afternoon of the 6th, 11 men from Father's House made most of the trip to Tumwater, WA before staying the night in a hotel in Portland. We had a great trip fellowshiping and getting to know each other. We ate together, laughed together, and prayed together that day. We took three guys that are right in the middle of turning their lives around tremendously, and by the grace of God, I believe they can do it.
Then, Saturday morning, we got up and made the remainder of the trip to Tumwater - another 2 hour drive from Portland.
Upon arriving, we got to see and meet several people, some that we knew, and many that we didn't. Pastors from around the Pacific Northwest brought their men to this one day event.
The Father's House in Vancouver lead worship, and Nathan did a great job, as I'm sure he always does. The whole team did a terrific job, and was really sensitive in leading the group of men into the presence of God.
First up was Keith Jenkins, who pastors a large church in Eugene, OR. He was very dynamic in his delivery, and completely right on with his content. He talked about leadership, and having a leadership structure. He talked a lot about having men around the pastor to support and assist him...it was great.
Next up, Reuben Reina took the mic. He talked about dominion, and the power that we have through God. He talked about the power of the mouth, the power of finances, and the power of praise...also great.
Then came the food. We had sandwiches and cookies for lunch. It was a great spread that Pastor Ray Kirkland had got, and the women of Northstar had prepared. Again, we got a chance to fellowship and meet some new people - which really is the highlight of an event like that.
After lunch we had another short time of worship, and then we got into a Q & A time. Both of the morning speakers joined our Administrative bishop Wayne Dority on a panel and fielded questions previously prepared by the men.
I think the Q & A went very well, and it gave everyone a chance to get involved on some level.
the drive back was quite a bit quieter than the ride up. Unfortunately, I had to drive, and at one point, I think I may have been the only one awake in the car of 5 guys...yeah, they left me hanging.
I am looking forward to the next one of these trip in a few months. I think God is going to do some really great things to unite the men and pastors of our region through them.

Memorial Day

2008-05-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

For some reason, remembrance type holidays have hit me a lot harder this past year or so. Veterans Day last fall, and now Memorial Day. I have never served in the armed forces, but I have the utmost respect for the men and women that lay their lives on the line for our country everyday. My wife's surrogate father - and the man that gave her away at our wedding - is a retired Colonel in the United States Marine Corp, and his son is currently an officer in the USMC serving in the Middle East. When I first met her, my interest in the military and armed forces was pretty shallow, but it has grown in this time. She was a member of the Junior Reserve Officer Training Corp. for her entire high school career. She had intended to join the Marines upon her graduate, but alas, a boy kept her from it. She decided she would rather spend the rest of her life with me than with Uncle Sam...I am forever grateful for that decision - not to mention the sacrifice Uncle Sam made in losing such an awesome soldier.
At any rate, my level of respect and adoration for our service men and women has grow substantially in the past several months. Maybe my kids have prompted me to realize the sacrifice that they make in leaving their families, possibly for the last time. The wives, sons, daughter, and parents that they walk away from so that people they have never met can be free.
So, this weekend, my hats off to all those who have given their lives in service of our country, and in service to the other countries that we have helped over the course of our existence. They truly do represent all that is right with our country. And to all the service men and women that have lived through conflicts and wars, I thank you. You are no less deserving of honor and memorial than those who gave their lives.

Thank you!!

Holy Conviction Batman!!

2008-04-21T14:56:00.000-07:00

WOW, as you may have guessed from the title, my last day or so has not gone real well. A few weeks ago my sister moved out of her husbands house, and took their 9 month old son with her. In the time since then, I had come to accept that they were going to get a divorce.
However, yesterday, God smacked me right in the face about it. He reminded me that even when divorce is the right decision, He still hates it. He convicted me, in as much as, if I wasn't praying against a divorce, then I was rooting for one...there is no middle ground with God. I had just accepted that Beck was going to grow up without his dad, and that my sister would be a single mom. Neither of those is God's plan, but like I said, it isn't necessarily the wrong decision either.
How could I be so blind to not only think that divorce was eminent, but to think that it was what God preferred in this situation...what an idiot I was being. It is true that I am the chief of sinners, and have no room to judge anyone else for anything they do.

The next step...

2008-04-19T08:38:00.001-07:00

Well, after a year of stepping back an evaluating what God has called me to do, I am entering back into more in depth ministry. Of course, I could never take a year off without doing ANYTHING, but I didn't play music, I didn't preach, I didn't teach a class of any kind, and I am not on the leadership team. These things will, once again, begin to incorporate back into my life slowly. I feel like God has called me in a direction that I may never have gone without this time away. I got so focused on music that I just figured that was what God had called me to for the rest of my life. However, after this year, I have decided that someday, I want to be a senior pastor. Of course, my ideal situation would be to go on staff somewhere as an associate just so I can get used to the everyday aspects of full-time ministry. I have SOOO much to learn. I spent the better part of 15 years learning music ministry, and being a worship leader...so I have a lot of ground to make up in the administrative and pastoring side of things. I am fortunate, however, to have, in my opinion, the best pastor in the country to learn from - my dad. He may not be the prolific speaker that some pastors are, but he is twice the shepherd of any pastor I have ever seen. I am praying, daily, for God to give me the same kind of love for people that he has...it is something that can only genuinely happen supernaturally.
I can see times where I feel more that way, but it certainly has not become a way of life for me yet. I do like people, and I a pretty social person, but I am still learning, and developing, a genuine love for all people...going beyond my circle of friends. I think part of that is going to mean me coming out of my shell, and putting myself out there a little more. I have decided that I will not set any dates for my ministry...when the doors open, I will look, and pray, and eventually decide if it is God opening the door for me, or if it's just an open door. I am lucky enough to have a job that I love, so I am in no hurry to quit to jump at any open door. I am trying to get into my reading and preparation that way, but right now, text books are consuming all of my reading time. I hope that I will have more chance - and desire - to read this summer, and be able to crank out a few books during that time.
So, until next time...

Stuff and Things

2008-04-08T10:36:00.000-07:00

Well, everything has been going pretty well in my life. There are certainly some things that absolutely suck, but in order to protect those that I love, I can't really go into that right now. Crystal is just under 6 weeks away from having our baby girl - Tatum. We are so excited, and so very unprepared. I have considerable work to do on the nursery. We have really tossed around the idea of moving again, but every time we look around, we find that we are in a truly blessed situation. If we try to find cheaper, the house is trashed, and no yard. If we decided to look for a 4-bedroom, everything jumps about $400 more than we pay now. So, we are probably here until we decide to buy something.
We are starting to ramp up toward summer too...of course, that gets harder when we get 2 inches of snow on April 8th!!! Alright already, we get the point, just give us summer.
School is going well...though it is only the beginning of the second week of this term. I am a little nervous about my architectural class this term, but my other class should go pretty well I think. On the upside, I didn't have to buy any books this term - so that helps financially.
Oh, speaking of school, I found out that I am getting $6000 next year in grant money. Of course, because I am only a 1/2 time student, I will only see 1/2 of that, but $3000 should still cover all my costs - including texts and fees. I think my average term this time around came to about $700 or $800 after all my costs. So, I may even get a refund. Next year we will have another baby, so my adjusted gross income should be less, which will get us more in federal aid. I'm not exactly sure how my classes are going to work starting next year. They have talked a lot about changing some of the classes around. Adding a class, and removing another maybe. Fortunately, the only they are talking about removing, I haven't taken yet, and the one they would most likely add is a lot better for me.
Church is going well. I think I am going to start playing on the worship team again next month. I can't believe it's already been over a year since I played for worship. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I won't be leading worship for a while - if i ever get back into it that deep. I really want to start focusing more on people, and assimilation into ministry. It's weird, because my heart and mind want to do that, but my skill set is nowhere close to be able to do it. i have focused so much of my life toward music that the other things have suffered. Not to mention, I am not really a 'people person', but I am praying that God will change that.

Almost April...

2008-03-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

Spring break has finally come. This last term was probably the most demanding, so far, of my time. I was in class three nights a week, plus all the time with homework, and on top of all of it, I got to work late , or through lunches, several times to meet a deadline. As far as I know, my address hasn't changed, and I am still married - though my time spent with the fam wouldn't really prove that out right now. One more term before summer - and man am I looking forward to a few months off. The term went well, however. I didn't get outstanding grades, but I got good grades - especially in my drafting class, which is my major.
Easter went grat a the church. We set a new attendance record, and saw several people make a renewed commitment to Christ. I think some new slavations too, but I don't personally keep track of those stats. All I know is that we were able to present the gospel to more people than we ever have before, and all in comfort of our new building.
I have also been asked to write an article for another blog - focused on REplanting. I'll be posting a link to that blog real soon. Things are going great with my family. Crystal and I have never been more in love, and I don't think Crystal has ever been more ready to get this little girl out of her as she is now. Tatum is being far mroe active than Levi was.

Can you say...HIATUS!!

2008-03-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

Man, it's been a long time since I wrote here. My life has been going crazy since the beginning of the year, and what were once common posts have become sporadic at best. I actually have another motivation for writing now, though. I have an aunt who is doing a 1 year mission to Maputo, Mozambique (I hope I didn't butcher that spelling too bad). We obviously can't talk on the phone often, so I figured this would be a great way to let her know how me and my family are doing. So Sharon, this is for you, we love you.
things are going well - a little hectic maybe, but pretty well. I recently signed-up (and paid money) to run my first organized half-marathon. I have run the distance in the past, but I have never done it as an event. It will be new ground, but I had to do something to whip myself back into shape. In fact, the guy that got me to run this with him is even talking about continuing our training after the half and running a full marathon sometime relatively soon.
Crystal is almost into her 8th month of pregnancy...yes, the baby girl is rapidly approaching. I can't believe we are going to have two. I post pictures as soon as she arrives...well, maybe give me a day or two.
The church is doing well. We are growing really well now that we are in the building full-time. We are exploring ways to cover the floors, and we got the nursery covered last weekend. So now we have the new nursery to use as well as the old one.
Let's see, what else. Oh, I have winter term finals next week - so pray for me. Not only that, but next week and the week after I am picking up 40 hours of work from Jay. I figured I can do 60 hour weeks for two weeks - it won't kill me. I will probably pick up more this summer. God is really opening some doors for me there, and who knows, maybe I will have walked through it before you get back here.

It's been over a week...

2008-02-19T12:56:00.000-08:00

And I gotta say, not much has happened. Sorry that there is such a delay. I was sick most of last week. I missed work Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday - my poor wife had to have an Eggo waffle for dinner on Valentine's Day because she wasn't feeling too great either - so neither of us felt up to cooking. We did, however, celebrate the next night. My aunt took Levi for the night, and I took Crystal out to Deep - a modern Japanese/sushi restaurant in town. We had a great night. She got me a couple shirts and a pair of boots for Valentine's Day, and I got her a pearl set (necklace, bracelet, earrings) and a new outfit for work. She has to wear black every day to work, so I was trying to get her something she could wear to work, but still have fun in also - it worked out alright. Saturday we stayed in most of the day...we still weren't 100% healthy, and we had a party that night. That evening we went to LaPine to see my grandparents. My 84 year old grandpa finished his doctorate degree this year, and we all got together to celebrate it. I've been fairly skeptical about him spending so much time and money on this degree at his age, but I feel differently about it after this weekend. It wasn't hurting anyone, and if that's what makes him happy, then I guess I can't be upset about it. We also took the opportunity to say goodbye to my aunt, who is heading to Africa in just over a week now. We all got her stuff that is fairly easy to pack. My mom got her a locket with each of their pictures in it. My uncle - her brother - got her a journal, and my sister made her a bracelet with symbols to represent her, her husband, and their son. So, here I was Friday, not having anything for her, and not really knowing what I could give her that would pack easily, and be a reminder of me and my family. So, I wrote her a song. It was pretty simple - just one, four chord progression all the way through, with a slight variance every third time - but I think I got the point across. My wife types up the lyrics, and we printed them on a sheet of fancy paper, and sealed it with sealing wax, and a stamp with our last initial on it. It turned out great. She'll be able to pack it easily, and read it whenever she feels home sick, or questions her calling.

Well, I got smacked!!

2008-02-08T09:34:00.000-08:00

Ok Phil, I'll come up with something to post here, though it may be short. School is going well a month into the winter term. I got a 94% on my midterm of my architectural class. Oh, ok...I got it.

I had a conversation with some people at my church Sunday night after the Super Bowl. We are going through the life of Paul on Sunday mornings, then re-hashing the sermon that evening. It was a little different with the Super Bowl that day, but out here on the west coast the game was over early enough to get it in anyhow. At any rate, God hit me with what may be my greatest weakness in life. It was definitely a hard moment, and hopefully will be turning point in my life. God smacked me in the face with one word: ENTITLEMENT. He brought to my rememberance a guy named Mark Williams who is a state oversser in my denomination. At any rate, he has the Bible memorized cover to cover - chapter and verse. God spoke to me that there is no way you can accomplish that AND feel entitled to anything. So many times I come home from work and crash in front of the television. I may only intend to sit there for a few minutes - maybe through a Sportscenter, but it rarely works out that way. I may see something else on that I want to watch, or I may go from the TV to the computer. At any rate, I never end up doing the things I should be doing. I have conditioned myself to believe that I am allowed to veg for a while because, after all, I have worked hard all day, and I deserve it. Entitlement never got anything - except in the way. Only God is truly entitled to anything. He deserves my praise, my worship, my time and my devotion. He is the only one worthy of any of it. I am praying that God takes those feelings of entitlement away, and that I will hand over the title to my soul more completely every day.

Count the cost...

2008-01-30T14:56:00.001-08:00

I wonder how many times we think about what Jesus said in Luke 14:28. Do we truly count the costs before we begin something new, or do we tend to jump in saying "it's God's will so He'll provide." Of course, if it is God's will, He will be faithful to provide for your needs. However, there is a cost. A cost for getting saved, a cost for winning the lost, and a cost for living righteously. Do we count those costs?? Furthermore, do we ever actually pay those prices?? In our physical world we are conditioned to find the cheapest, easiest way from point A to point B, but I don't see that as being God's plan. Look at the very means by which we have salvation. Jesus came, lived a PERFECT life, died on a cross, rose again, and lives today at the right hand of the Father. That was not cheap or easy...in fact, nothing has ever cost more, or been more difficult. He lived a perfect life - how incredible is that alone?? Then, He willingly died on a cross so that you and I could spend eternity with Him. The thing that we forget so much is that in His death, He had to go get the keys to death - and we are worried about what our co-workers may think of us if we share the gospel with them...that's embarrassing.
I wonder, too, if we allow others to count the costs. When we witness to people, are we so eager to put that notch on our belt that we discount the need to count those costs for themselves. I had a good friend a few years ago, who I have fallen out of communication with, who wanted to count the costs. As far as I know he has yet to turn his life over to God, but he knows. He knows what it means when he does - and I am fully confident that he will. You see, when people get the full picture, it may look daunting at first, but they've got the full picture. sooner or later the costs seem to dim, and the prize grows. Take for example a teenager who starts taking marijuana. In that time the cost of giving up drugs is too great for him. When he gets older, however, the cost may be giving up joblessness, hopelessness, and despair - to gain eternal life. Once the luster of the sin wears off, then Jesus looks that much brighter. Encourage your unsaved loved ones to count the cost. Weigh out what they will be giving up to follow Christ, and decide if it is worth it. As long as we as Christians are doing what we are instructed to do, I am confident that they will see that the cost is minute compared to the gain.

Desolate days

2008-01-29T14:03:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday we talked about Paul again, and some times he faced through the early years of his ministry. It was particularly applicable to me because I feel like I am going through some desolate days right now. The things that desperate days may bring are: isolation, humiliation, subordination, rejection, and demotion.
It is amazing how impatient I can be with my desolate days. Looking at Paul, he spent 3 years in isolation in Arabia...3 years. Looking further back, it was 13 years from the time Joseph was sold into slavery and the time when he became second in command of the known educated world. How long was the time between David's anointing as king, and when he actually took the throne. Moses spent 40 years after leaving Egypt before he went back...and another 40 wondering in the wilderness. I have been dealing with some of this stuff for about 1 year...1 stinkin' measly year of my probably 70+ year life. Even in that one year I am not going through what any of those examples endured. I didn't even really think about it until Sunday morning. As my dad was speaking and hitting his points I just kept thinking "wow, I am dealing with that one too...". Isolation can be a difficult one today...especially because Father's House is such a relational church. I have found that I can be surrounded by my best friends, and still feel like nobody really gets me...that they don't understand, and most likely never will understand. As far as humiliation is concerned, I have experienced the humbling side of that term, more than the embarrassing part. I have been embarrassed, but even that led to being humbled. Completely broken down in front of God and some of my peers. Of course, there will always be those who reject us. That one may be the least of those for me. Either I don't feel like anyone has rejected me, or I am just so used to it, it doesn't faze me anymore. As far as subordination and demotion go, those are another topic for another post. By the grace of God, and the love of my family and friends, I have been able to be more open about the way I am feeling. I have dealt with these feelings like I have so much to offer a church in the facet of my calling, but here I am, with a secular job, not living up to what I thought I would be doing by this time in my life. Sometimes I want so badly to be on staff at a church that I think I would move anywhere, and work for anyone. Other times, I think that I won't ever be a full-time minister, and I basically give up on what I KNOW God as called me to. I guess it truly is all in God's time...after all, God didn't part the Red Sea to leave His children out of the Promised Land.

I'm getting old...

2008-01-23T07:39:00.000-08:00

Well, yesterday I turned 29...yes, only one year left until 30. Birthdays have never really bothered me before, and I am doing my best to not let this one bother me either. However, when I graduated high school I set some goals for myself, and some of the biggest were goals I wanted to have complete by the time I was 30. This is either going to be a VERY busy year, or I'm just going to have to re-evaluate my goal timeline. My biggest goal was to become efficient (if not proficient) at 5 instruments by the time I am 30. I've got the guitar, bass, trumpet, and african hand drums (congas, bongos, djembe, etc.). That would be 4, but I only count the bass and guitar as 1/2 to 3/4 each since they go so well together. So, this year I would really like to focus on piano more than anything. If I can get a decent handle on that with some time left, I will focus some time on the violin also. Piano is my top priority, though, for sure. I would love to learn to play a regular trap set drums, but getting both hands and both feet going at the same time it super tricky for me.
let's see, what else has been going on?? Well, the new year is going pretty well still. I have taken up drinking a glass of V-8 every morning. That has got to be the biggest glass I have ever seen...V-8 tastes horrible, but it's just so stinkin' good for you.
I had a thought that I wanted to share. At church we are going through a sermon series on the life of Paul. WOW, what a dynamic transformation of a man. God really turned his life upside down. At any rate, before the church became 'the church' it was known as 'the Way'. Something I REALLy liked when I stopped to think about that, was that 'the Way' symbolizes a journey for me, whereas 'the church' symbolizes a place. I know that the church is not a place, but the people, but in my mind's eye, I see a place. As the church we need to be on our way - as in a journey. We haven't arrived, and we will certainly kno when we have...we won't be in our earthly bodies anymore for starters. Not to mention, we'll be at a feast that makes any Thanksgiving look trivial. So, lets not sit back, or settle down. Let us always be moving forward, taking ground that isn't ours right now, but is ours through Christ. A few years ago the prayer of Jabez was a trendy thing in the church - especially with the publication of a book about it. It has come and gone now, like so many other fads, but one thing that should not pass away is us praying that God expands our boundries of influence.
I've got more about Paul to share, but I'll save that so I have something to post next time.

Second Sunday...

2008-01-14T10:01:00.001-08:00

Well, we had our second week in the new sanctuary yesterday, and this week I made sure I ad battery for my camera so I could show off the new building here. Here are the pictures in the order you might see them if you were walking into the building.

I have several more pictures, but these are the basics. We are so stinkin' excited to be in this building. For those that don't know the back story, 3 1/2 years ago we decided to seel our building that the church had been in since 1927, but we had outgrown. We sold it within 6 months, but rented it back for 1 year while we got our new place built, well, that year came and went without anything tangible getting done. So, we moved out congregation of about 100 into a tiny room that would uncomfortably seat 55 people. Instead of having the kids with us through worship - as was our tradition - we released them to their classes at the beginning of service. We did that from March of 2006 through July of 2006. Then, in August a local Baptist church loaned us a canopy type tent (no walls) to use, but they needed it back for Labor Day weekend. By the time Labor Day rolled around we had secured another tent from a friend of my dad's that had two walls, but we only had that one through the first week of October. At that point, we were faced with moving back into the tiny room, and risking losing all the growth we had experience in our tents. So, dad had settled on renting a school, but at about $1000 a week, hat was going to be tough. the finance committee, however, had other plans. They decided to buy a tent. Even if we only needed the school for 6 months, that 26 weeks, and $26,000 - we could get a decent used tent for that. At the same time in Washington, a man who had held tent revivals was retiring, and he knew my grandparents. We were able to buy a tent, roughly 150 nice folding chairs, a great heater, stage, and projection screen all for well under our budget for just the tent. We were in that tent for 14 months - almost to the day. the fire department informed us that it had to come down, and at that point, we were forced to have services in the tiny room for 3 weeks, then we got into our new building on January 6, 2008 with a 60 day temporary permit. It's been a long, someimtes rough, road, but through Christ, we made it through.

It's hump day...

2008-01-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

Boy, does it feel like a hump day. My recently started exercise regimen is killing me. I am not only having to get used to working out - I swam 1,000 meters this morning by the way - but I am also having to get used to getting up at 5:30 in the morning. I think that the getting up is much worse than the swimming. I love swimming. It is so calming and relaxing, but at the same time, such a rigorous work out. I know that sounds weird, but it's the truth. This summer I plan to do a BRICK as many Saturdays as possible. A brick is a traditionally a bike then run workout. I think I would modify it a little to get dropped off at the pool with my bike, then swim a few hundred meters, ride my bike a few miles ending up at my house, then run 3-5 miles. That's my goal, and it sounds completely ridiculous right now, but if I can continue to swim 3 days a week, and spend 45 minutes to an hour on my trainer on an off day, it will be much more reasonable in a few months. The swimming is going to be easier to stay on top of because I can do it at 6 am, but riding my bike will be tougher because it is at home, and I can't do it early in the morning because of the noise. Crystal might kill me if I woke Levi up at 5:30 or 6. Another major goal of mine is to swim a mile in the pool. At 1000 meters right now, I think I can get up to 1600 in a month or so.
Fitness is becoming so much more important to me with knowing what God has called me to do. I will need the energy to sustain myself through hours of draining ministry. Not to mention, whether I end up ministering in Boise or Bend, they are both active towns, and I feel like my best chance to win the lost will be to become more active myself. Maybe next year we will be able to afford some X-country skis, boots and poles for me. I have wanted them for some time now, but it is true that I will have to force myself to use them. I will probably try to convince my brother-in-law to get them also, and I can get him to go out with me.
Ministry is going as well as to be expected. I took one year off last April - after being on the platform every Sunday for over 7 years. I want to be able to look at my calling from a distance - see the forest AND the trees. My year started on April 17th, so I am only about 3 months from that being over technically, but I think it may end up being longer. I am still not 100% about what God wants me to do with my immediate future. I feel like I know the more long term picture, but as with running, you need to take the first step in order to run a mile. The first step is a crucial one for me. If you take the first step in the wrong direction you may never find the correct path.

Starting off the new year...

2008-01-07T07:28:00.000-08:00

It's the first full week of 2008. Isn't that crazy?? I mean, it seems like it wasn't too long ago that movies based in the future were 2000. I have started in on my New Years REVOLUTION. I hate the term resolution because too many people fail at those. I am not resolving to do something, I am changing the way I live. I am reading more, exercising more, and eating less - or at least less junk food. I have a couple of friends that just keep telling me about good books to read, so I am currently into two of them at the same time, and have The Barbarian Way, Chasing Daylight, and a couple church planting books all waiting to be read. Once i am finished with "The Way of the Wild Heart" I will be free to read more. That book has become like homework for me...which reminds me, speaking of reading, I start classes again tonight. Only 6 credits this term, but one is Business Administration which I am sure will entail it's fair share of reading as well. And, last but certainly not least, I am keeping up on my Bible reading. So, two 'extra' books, several text books, and the Bible. I have never had so much to read at once. If it weren't for sports, I might as well disconnect the cable.
Yesterday was the first service in the new sanctuary at the church - that's only been in the making for about 3 years. I would post pictures, but when I got to the church with my camera, I discovered I had let the battery get too low - which has never happened before. It was a great service - on the life of Paul. What a wonderful conversion that was - from our perspective. From his, he was probably upset that he had to be blind for a while. Oh well, I'm sure he feels like it was worth it now.
Anyway, about my exercise, I am swimming 3 days a week, and doing some other fitness stuff at least one or two other days - maybe riding my trainer at home. I need to be exercising at least 4 days a week, and 5 would be great. My end goal weight is 170, but maintaining it once I get there may be the tricky part.

U23D

2008-01-03T21:04:00.001-08:00

It's been a while...

2008-01-02T10:53:00.000-08:00

Here's the deal...I sit in front of a computer 40 hours a week, 51 weeks a year, so my week off between Christmas and New Years, not spending much time on the computer. I did take some time to post a video of a dance that the kids from our church did. Here's the link. They did a great job, as always. Every time I watch these things I am more and more impressed with my wife - who choreographs all their dances.
We had a great Christmas Eve and Christmas day spending all our time with family. For that matter, I think I spent some time with my extended family every day of the break. Between the holidays and helping my dad get the church building buttoned up, we saw quite a bit of each other. It was a great time for all of us - I think.
I have resolved to not make any New Years resolutions this year...I just want to make changes to my way of life. Maybe it would be better put to make a New Years Revolution. More specifically, I need to eat better, and exercise more - I've got about 25-30 pounds I'd like to knock off. I am also trying to commit to reading more. Until I finish school, a lot of that reading may be text books, but maybe that will help me look forward to books that I can read for entertainment.
OH...in other big news, we found out that we are expecting a baby girl this time around. It is exactly the way we had hoped, the boy first, then a little girl. I am already nervous for her teenage years, and I will begin praying for myself in that time as well as her very soon. Got some great stuff for Christmas: a fitness center membership, a book I have been wanting, some new board games, and some much needed pants. Not to mention the chai tea my wife's aunt got me - she has been keeping me well stocked with tea for a little while now - and I hope she keeps it coming. Crystal and i have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about our future recently too...it's been great for us, and a wonderful bonding thing between us.

Well, until next time....

Some more books...

2007-12-20T07:28:00.001-08:00

Last night I went Christmas shopping for the last person on my list - my aunt. We wanted to get her a book to read to challenge her vision and mission - she feels called to work in Africa. There were so many books that tell you how to be a missionary, or how to 'be all that you can be', but that wasn't what we were after. I wanted something that is more than just a cookie-cutter, run-of-the-mill self help book. So, I grabbed a book by Bill Hybels, and read the back of it, and really liked it. I know a little about him, so that made me more comfortable with it also. As we looked, however, another book jumped out at me: Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus. It was exactly what I was looking to get her. It's a long story - her going to Africa that is - but it will suffice to say that she is getting close to retirement age and I have NEVER seen her more committed and passionate about anything in my life. She is having to deal with some family pressure that tells her she's too old, and some financial issue (and that's directly tied to the family junk), but she is seizing her moment without regard to what else could hold her back. At any rate, as I read the back of this book I noticed another one - one that I believe will more profoundly impact my life: The Barbarian Way, also by McManus. In a nutshell this book talks about teh difference between a Barbaric Christian and a Civilized Christian. A barbaric Christian being someone that goes after God, and the things of God without thought of the consequences. Not worried about appearances, and certainly not worried about being proper or neat in their Christianity. A civilized Christian, on the other hand, is more concerned with propriety and neatness in their walk with Christ. Worrying about others and their opinions. Concerned about what a community around them may think. Lord, I want to be a barbaric Christian that unquestioningly follows You and Your ways. Even if it means thrashing about occasionally, so-be-it if it brings me closer to you.

Weekend in a nutshell...

2007-12-17T07:52:00.001-08:00

Well, first for the nuts and bolt. I stayed in a yurt on Friday night with 6 other guys from the church. We had a great time talking, playing Yahtzee, and blowing things up in the fire. Saturday was more work on the church in the morning - only a couple more weeks of that I pray, followed by driving to Lapine, a little town south of Bend, to watch one of the teenagers in 'A Christmas Carol'. Sunday was business as usual, church at 10:30, home for lunch and football, but we did FINALLY decorate our tree. Getting time when all three of us were home, and awake, has not been easy lately. We got some great pictures of Levi decorating the tree...he really doesn't know what to think about having a tree inside the house. We woke up to a little snow this morning, but nothing to get too worked up about.
So, onto the fun stuff. I am going to be buying a book (or hopefully getting it for Christmas) by Andy Stanley named 'Visioneering'. He explains it as the engineering of a vision. I don't know much about it, but I read this quote on the back that finally set the hook after a friend recommended it to me "Vision is a clear mental picture of what could be, fueled by the conviction that is should be." That explains so precisely what I feel about my calling. I have an incredibly clear dream or vision about what could be in Boise, and the passion to see it happen. I do realize too, however, that in order for it to be, I need to have a more clear understanding of what it is 1)to be a senior pastor at all, and 2) what it means to plant a church.
I think in the COG we've confused starting a church with planting a church - and they are different. Starting a church, to me, can be done by anyone. It consists only of throwing the doors open and having church. Planting, in my opinion, speaks of preparation. A good farmer doesn't just walk out to a field and throw seed down, the prepare the ground to receive it. I think this is the disconnect right now for us. We want to start churches so badly, and so quickly that we forget about all the tilling, and turning of the ground. We forget, too, that we must know the ground, and know what kinds of seeds will grow there. It would be foolish to plant oranges in Idaho, and it would be equally as foolish to plant spuds in southern California. Corn works in Nebraska - so leave it there. We need to know the ground, know the climate, invest in the property, till the ground, and then plant our garden. Only then can we EXPECT our garden to grow and prosper. To carry the analogy one step further, by doing this preparation we can expect for the plants to bear fruit - fruits of the spirit specifically.

Here comes the weekend...

2007-12-14T15:38:00.000-08:00

Well, tonight is when the men are seperated from the boys. A groups of friends and I are volunterily, actually even paying to, stay ina yurt tonight. The thing is, it hasn't been over 34 degrees all day, and promises to get down to around 20 tonight. That's right, us Bend men know how to rock n' roll in the winter time. Last year we did it the last full night of 2006. It was a great time - especially after we got into the yurt and out of the wind. We should all be a little more prepared this time around. It is a ton of funny no matter how cold it may get, because we love to build community with each other. If there is any aspect of Father's House that I will do my best to repeat when I move on, it will be that community. People may look past my ineptitute as a pastor if we show them true love and Godly community. Family feel is what we are after, and by the grace of God, so far so good. I would take my guitar with me, but with the weather being so cold it wouldn't stay in tune any longer than it took me to get it out of the case anyway. Tomorrow is back to the church...we are getting SOOOO close, but we've still got a few things to finish up. I think we are working on a couple porches tomorrow - yes, out in the cold.
I have been thinking and praying a lot about when the family moves to plant a church. It almost seems wrong to think about it so much when I know that I am so far away from being ready to go. I have come to grips with the fact that I can't go yet, and that my thinking about it is just God's way of giving me something to look forward to, and to strive toward. I know that He is certainly building my burden for the lost in Boise...the harvest is ripe!!! I know that there is so much potential there for growth and there are so many lost people to win - and I have never meant the word win as much as I do when I think about keeping souls out of Satan's grasp. How I wish I could lead every unsaved person in Boise to the Lord. For that matter, I would love to lead everyone on the planet to the Lord, but that is a little outside of the calling that God has placed on my heart.

Planting homework...

2007-12-13T11:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I purchased two books to read to begin my preparations for planting a church in the next couple years. When I really got to thinking and looking at the amount of preparation I have to do to be ready to move out like that in the time frame I feel God is setting up...it was a little overwhelming. One book I got was from Ed Stetzer who has started numerous churches for the SBC. It it titled "Planting New Churches in a Postmodern Age". I know that I am Church of God...not baptist...but this guy really seems to know his stuff about starting successful churches that affect the community around them. the other was from Ralph Moore named "Starting a New Church". Those, coupled with some more that I am looking at by Stetzer and some John Maxwell stuff, will be all that I can handle for a little while. I am not much of a reader - so I am praying that God changes that in me as I start to jump into a whole mess of homework - oh, and did I mention that I work 40+ hours a week, and i am currently working toward a degree in engineering? Yeah, maybe it would be better if I just turned off the cable for a while. I am also looking into options of seminars or workshops to attend between now and then. I plan to make at least a couple trips to Boise in the mean time just to get a feel for the community more than I do now - not to mention picking up lunch at the Cracker Barrel while we're there. It's amazing the things that cross your mind when you dig deeper into something that you have never done or really been a part of before. I have also started a plan of action for planting the church once the time gets closer. So far it is just ideas and very general thoughts, but over the next couple months Crystal and I will be shaving it down to be more specific...I would like to have that in place at least a year before we move so that we cna pray for the things we need, as well as make any changes that God lays on our hearts. Flexibility is proving to be a key word for me with this. Start with a clean slate, and go from there. One big thing I am praying for is a team. I have people in mind that I would LOVE to take with us, but who knows if they are th least bit interested?? Our specific need is for a music leader. I am capable, but I desperately don't want to have to do the music and preach...people would get bored of looking at me all the time pretty quick - besides, there are a lot more capable people than me out there. Another need is pretty base and simple - we need workers. Crystal and I can't do everything - nor do we feel like that is the best way to do it. We are praying for a family or couple to come along with us that will work hard at growing a church...some of the nuts and bolts things as well as loving people, and reaching out into the community. As far as money goes, I'm not real concerned. My Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills - I'm sure he can afford rent and utilities for a little while.

Passion...

2007-12-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

Have you ever experienced passion?? I don't mean want, need, or even desire - but passion. I guess I would define this as a desire so deep that you really have no choice but to go after it. dictionary.com explains it as a strong or EXTRAVAGANT fondness, enthusiasm or desire for anything. Well, I am beginning to understand that. I guess the more I think I understand it, the more I realize that I have no idea what it means. My passion is for lost souls in general, and lost souls in Boise, ID to be more specific.
I feel like a little kid in a hallway with a bunch of doors - none of them opened right now. I feel myself pushing on these doors, but none of them opened. They are closed for a combination of reasons - brought on both by things I have done, and things I have not done. I am trying to rest in the hallway, but someone just told me an iteration of an old quote "when God closes one door, He opens another one...but it may be Hell in the hallway".
That, of course, is a lot easier to know when you are in a room - not suspended between two rooms. My wife and I talked about moving to Boise again last night, and we are both well aware that it will be some time before we move - which makes the hallway look so much longer. Oh well, I'm sure God will use this time to teach me the things that I need to know in order to do what He has called me to do. Someone told me that one sign that God has called you is that you are scared to death to do it. That is definitely one overwhelming emotion I have felt about this possibility. On the other hand, now that I have had some time to pray and seek God about this, I have learned to embrace the calling through my fears. Of course, that doesn't mean that I will ever feel like I am ready, but I didn't FEEL ready to be a dad either, but that's going well so far. Once the passion to see Boise won over for Christ overcame the fear and selfishness involved with staying put, it got a lot easier, and a whole bunch less scary.

What a weekend...

2007-12-10T07:49:00.000-08:00

Well, this was quite a weekend. I spent most of Saturday at the new church project putting siding on...we are almost completely finished with the building now - maybe another week or so. Saturday night I had my company Christmas party, and what a treat that was. I love watching people with no inhibition dancing after a few drinks. WOW - I will never look at some of my coworkers the same again. On the upside, I got a free dinner from a swanky restaurant here in town, and I won a door prize. Sunday morning we had church in the building, but not the new sanctuary. We were in the fireside room (it's about 25'x35'). We dismissed the kids at the beginning of service rather than after worship to make room, and it went great. I will say that I am glad it's only for a couple weeks, but hey, after 16 months in a tent, we can handle anything. We had 113 people there...and none of them seemed to mind that we were SUPER crowded. I think the spirit there was so nice and warm that people overlooked being crowded. I think it help being around the holiday season when everyone is a little more apt to want to be close to others...and the warmth is really nice too. Sunday afternoon we got our Christmas tree. We went out with my sister and her husband, and my parents. It was great, and we found the perfect Wills family Christmas tree. So, enough about that.
I also had a big realization this weekend. I kind of look at my faith as having two sides to it: the word oriented side and the spirit oriented side. Maybe looking at Mt. Sinai vs. Mt Zion. I have had no trouble with the academic things of knowing the Bible and memorizing scripture, however, I have also never really been into huge moves of the spirit in my life. I have no problem with them, and it's not as if I don't want the spirit to move, but I think my intellect has overrulled my spirit in those occasions. When I looked at that this weekend I realized that I have never REALLY fed my spirit man, but I have spent a lot of time feeding my Word man. I like having scripture memorized, and I know I have a good memory, so that is what I have fed. So, I think I am going to start looking for ways to feed my spirit man some more. I don't know exactly what that will look like, but I am going to find out. I have already decided to start going to the church prayer meetings every Tuesday night. Crystal has youth group, and my aunt watches Levi every Tuesday anyhow, so I think I am going to start with that. Once school starts up again, I'll have to figure something else out, but I have a few weeks here to go. Maybe that will jump start that part of my life, and I will have a good place to build from when school does start again...and my Tuesdays are full again. I would challenge you to do the same assessment...after all, as nice as Mt. Zion is, and as necessary as Mt. Sinai was, Mt. Calvary is the only one that really matters, and that is the balance between them.

Time to open up...

2007-12-07T07:04:00.000-08:00

As I promised one reader of my blog, I am going to be using this blog to show the struggle between what I want, what God wants, and what Satan wants for me (which, of course, is death). So, here we go....
About 9 or 10 months ago now I decided that I was ready to lead a church. Whether it was through taking a church that opened up, or planting a church somewhere. I have no real lead pastor experience, no weekly teaching experience, and really, very limited shepherding experience. I knew how to lead, but leading and shepherding are totally different. So, I began to share these thoughts with my wife, and even our state overseer. He immediately got behind me and wanted to see me succeed. What he didn't know, is that I had a very good reason to want to get out of Bend. I had made some poor choices in my past, and thought that moving would cure the problem. I hated running into my past, and knowing that - in a small town like this - there was no escaping it. So, we looked into moving to Renton for a couple weeks, but I knew that I was not ready to go. In the week or so following us deciding not to move to Renton, God set some things up that have allowed me to start getting beyond my past. He really laid it on my heart that I can't carry that junk around with me when/if I am a pastor. So, I took some steps to begin the healing from what is now my old life. WOW, my eyes have really been open to just what I was dealing with. I went to a professional counselor just because I knew there was stuff that was too heavy for me to deal with on my own. Besides, I had spent my entire life trying to do things on my own - it was time to allow God, and someone else, to help me. To coin a phrase from a very wise cartoon (Shrek) I really am like an onion. There was so much junk below the surface that I never would have found, let alone deal with. Things from my childhood, adolescence and adulthood. Habits that I had formed from childhood, that had carried over into my adulthood. I truly felt like I was at an AA meeting admitting that I am powerless to these things. Of course, my counselor pointed out that I am powerless to everything, only the Christ in me has power over it...'my hope in glory'. I've spent the last almost 8 months now peeling back the layers that have covered me for most of my life. What a freedom we have in Jesus. It is amazing, and I never knew how amazing it was until I was 28. I have grown up in church, and it's true that he who is forgiven much, loves much. I never thought I was forgiven of much. There were even times I considered walking away from God just so I could come back to him and have this tremendous salvation experience. These past several months has taught me that I forgive much - and saved from even more. Now, whenever I do go out into full-time ministry, I know that I will be much better prepared, not only as a man and follow of Christ, but as a shepherd, leader, and lover of souls.

Week winding down...

2007-12-06T08:46:00.000-08:00

Well, this week has been crazy for me. It was finals week at school, so I had that stuff going on Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night I went and worked at the church for a little bit siding the sound booth. We are getting SO close to being in there, I can wait. We are looking at probably two weeks in the fireside room before we can legally occupy the new sanctuary - and after that, the sky is the limit. There are 6 final inspections called in for today, so things are really getting close. So, let's see. Last night Crystal had a class that she has to have for her new job at the daycare. Levi and I had a great time going over to Papa and Nana's house to visit with them. He is such a great little boy - most of the time. I wish I could spend all my time with him, but, alas, somebody has to bring home the bacon.
Also, this week God has really moved on me again about planting a church. There have been som setbacks that clouded my desire to plant, and even got to a point of wondering if that truly is what God has for me. Well, after this week, I really feel like it is. I have several things to learn before that time rolls around, but I am hoping by the summer of 2009 I will be fully ready to move out on my own. Well, not so much on my own, but with God. I have this idea in my head of what I want it to look like when I do plant, and how I want to go about it, but reality is that my idea of it is pretty fantastic, so I'm sure it won't turn out exactly the way I see it in my head. I think the thing that makes me most nervous about planting a church is the weekly sermons. I like people, I am ready for the leap into the people side of it (or as ready as I'll ever be), but coming up with a sermon every week really intimidates me. Maybe in the next year or so I can teach a class or preach more often. All that will have to be worked out with my dad. I know he wants to see me fulfill my calling, but sometimes I wonder if he is willing to see me, Crystal, Levi, and our next one leave town, and live away a little bit. I would love to have some experience on staff at a church before stepping out on my own, but the fact is that there are only a couple churches in the PNW that are big enough to hire someone - and I don't want to work for the pastors at those churches. Maybe Father's House will grow quickly once we get into the building, and I could spend a year or so preparing that way...but that is another post. Well, I think that wraps it up for now...C-ya

First blog!!

2007-12-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I am new to this, so bear with me a little bit for the first several posts - I'll get the hang of it. So, here we go...
Aren't the holidays great?? I love Thanksgiving, then we get into the full swing of Christmas and all that entails. Then, of course, we get to start a new year. I am looking forward to Christmas this year moree than I can ever remember looking forward to it in the past. I am listening to ridiculous amounts of Christmas music, and I was even the one that got ou the decorations for the house this year. Maybe this year I am a little more aware of the gift that Jesus Christ was to us. What an awesome thing we were given when He came to earth - ultimately to die. Maybe I am just looking forward to the time I get off of work during that time - 7 working days, and 11 straight days total-YIPPEE!!! I also like starting a new year. This year hasn't been much fun for me, and even less for my wife. So, I think we are both looking forward to better times in 2008.
Another thing that the holiday season means around here is Winterrific. Because the weather around here is so cold and snowy during the winter, our church - Father's House - started a new thing last winter. We call it Winterrific (get it: Winter + Terrific). We really get things ramped up to shove off the 'winter blahs'. We hang out a ton, playing games, eating, Bible studies, and much more - this year we are even having a country hoe-down (country is the theme this year). It is a great way to get new people in the doors, while having some indoor fun at the same time.
Well, I think that will do for my first post. Catcha later.