Desolate days

This past Sunday we talked about Paul again, and some times he faced through the early years of his ministry. It was particularly applicable to me because I feel like I am going through some desolate days right now. The things that desperate days may bring are: isolation, humiliation, subordination, rejection, and demotion.
It is amazing how impatient I can be with my desolate days. Looking at Paul, he spent 3 years in isolation in Arabia...3 years. Looking further back, it was 13 years from the time Joseph was sold into slavery and the time when he became second in command of the known educated world. How long was the time between David's anointing as king, and when he actually took the throne. Moses spent 40 years after leaving Egypt before he went back...and another 40 wondering in the wilderness. I have been dealing with some of this stuff for about 1 year...1 stinkin' measly year of my probably 70+ year life. Even in that one year I am not going through what any of those examples endured. I didn't even really think about it until Sunday morning. As my dad was speaking and hitting his points I just kept thinking "wow, I am dealing with that one too...". Isolation can be a difficult one today...especially because Father's House is such a relational church. I have found that I can be surrounded by my best friends, and still feel like nobody really gets me...that they don't understand, and most likely never will understand. As far as humiliation is concerned, I have experienced the humbling side of that term, more than the embarrassing part. I have been embarrassed, but even that led to being humbled. Completely broken down in front of God and some of my peers. Of course, there will always be those who reject us. That one may be the least of those for me. Either I don't feel like anyone has rejected me, or I am just so used to it, it doesn't faze me anymore. As far as subordination and demotion go, those are another topic for another post. By the grace of God, and the love of my family and friends, I have been able to be more open about the way I am feeling. I have dealt with these feelings like I have so much to offer a church in the facet of my calling, but here I am, with a secular job, not living up to what I thought I would be doing by this time in my life. Sometimes I want so badly to be on staff at a church that I think I would move anywhere, and work for anyone. Other times, I think that I won't ever be a full-time minister, and I basically give up on what I KNOW God as called me to. I guess it truly is all in God's time...after all, God didn't part the Red Sea to leave His children out of the Promised Land.