Some more books...

Last night I went Christmas shopping for the last person on my list - my aunt. We wanted to get her a book to read to challenge her vision and mission - she feels called to work in Africa. There were so many books that tell you how to be a missionary, or how to 'be all that you can be', but that wasn't what we were after. I wanted something that is more than just a cookie-cutter, run-of-the-mill self help book. So, I grabbed a book by Bill Hybels, and read the back of it, and really liked it. I know a little about him, so that made me more comfortable with it also. As we looked, however, another book jumped out at me: Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus. It was exactly what I was looking to get her. It's a long story - her going to Africa that is - but it will suffice to say that she is getting close to retirement age and I have NEVER seen her more committed and passionate about anything in my life. She is having to deal with some family pressure that tells her she's too old, and some financial issue (and that's directly tied to the family junk), but she is seizing her moment without regard to what else could hold her back. At any rate, as I read the back of this book I noticed another one - one that I believe will more profoundly impact my life: The Barbarian Way, also by McManus. In a nutshell this book talks about teh difference between a Barbaric Christian and a Civilized Christian. A barbaric Christian being someone that goes after God, and the things of God without thought of the consequences. Not worried about appearances, and certainly not worried about being proper or neat in their Christianity. A civilized Christian, on the other hand, is more concerned with propriety and neatness in their walk with Christ. Worrying about others and their opinions. Concerned about what a community around them may think. Lord, I want to be a barbaric Christian that unquestioningly follows You and Your ways. Even if it means thrashing about occasionally, so-be-it if it brings me closer to you.

Weekend in a nutshell...

Well, first for the nuts and bolt. I stayed in a yurt on Friday night with 6 other guys from the church. We had a great time talking, playing Yahtzee, and blowing things up in the fire. Saturday was more work on the church in the morning - only a couple more weeks of that I pray, followed by driving to Lapine, a little town south of Bend, to watch one of the teenagers in 'A Christmas Carol'. Sunday was business as usual, church at 10:30, home for lunch and football, but we did FINALLY decorate our tree. Getting time when all three of us were home, and awake, has not been easy lately. We got some great pictures of Levi decorating the tree...he really doesn't know what to think about having a tree inside the house. We woke up to a little snow this morning, but nothing to get too worked up about.
So, onto the fun stuff. I am going to be buying a book (or hopefully getting it for Christmas) by Andy Stanley named 'Visioneering'. He explains it as the engineering of a vision. I don't know much about it, but I read this quote on the back that finally set the hook after a friend recommended it to me "Vision is a clear mental picture of what could be, fueled by the conviction that is should be." That explains so precisely what I feel about my calling. I have an incredibly clear dream or vision about what could be in Boise, and the passion to see it happen. I do realize too, however, that in order for it to be, I need to have a more clear understanding of what it is 1)to be a senior pastor at all, and 2) what it means to plant a church.
I think in the COG we've confused starting a church with planting a church - and they are different. Starting a church, to me, can be done by anyone. It consists only of throwing the doors open and having church. Planting, in my opinion, speaks of preparation. A good farmer doesn't just walk out to a field and throw seed down, the prepare the ground to receive it. I think this is the disconnect right now for us. We want to start churches so badly, and so quickly that we forget about all the tilling, and turning of the ground. We forget, too, that we must know the ground, and know what kinds of seeds will grow there. It would be foolish to plant oranges in Idaho, and it would be equally as foolish to plant spuds in southern California. Corn works in Nebraska - so leave it there. We need to know the ground, know the climate, invest in the property, till the ground, and then plant our garden. Only then can we EXPECT our garden to grow and prosper. To carry the analogy one step further, by doing this preparation we can expect for the plants to bear fruit - fruits of the spirit specifically.

Here comes the weekend...

Well, tonight is when the men are seperated from the boys. A groups of friends and I are volunterily, actually even paying to, stay ina yurt tonight. The thing is, it hasn't been over 34 degrees all day, and promises to get down to around 20 tonight. That's right, us Bend men know how to rock n' roll in the winter time. Last year we did it the last full night of 2006. It was a great time - especially after we got into the yurt and out of the wind. We should all be a little more prepared this time around. It is a ton of funny no matter how cold it may get, because we love to build community with each other. If there is any aspect of Father's House that I will do my best to repeat when I move on, it will be that community. People may look past my ineptitute as a pastor if we show them true love and Godly community. Family feel is what we are after, and by the grace of God, so far so good. I would take my guitar with me, but with the weather being so cold it wouldn't stay in tune any longer than it took me to get it out of the case anyway. Tomorrow is back to the church...we are getting SOOOO close, but we've still got a few things to finish up. I think we are working on a couple porches tomorrow - yes, out in the cold.
I have been thinking and praying a lot about when the family moves to plant a church. It almost seems wrong to think about it so much when I know that I am so far away from being ready to go. I have come to grips with the fact that I can't go yet, and that my thinking about it is just God's way of giving me something to look forward to, and to strive toward. I know that He is certainly building my burden for the lost in Boise...the harvest is ripe!!! I know that there is so much potential there for growth and there are so many lost people to win - and I have never meant the word win as much as I do when I think about keeping souls out of Satan's grasp. How I wish I could lead every unsaved person in Boise to the Lord. For that matter, I would love to lead everyone on the planet to the Lord, but that is a little outside of the calling that God has placed on my heart.

Planting homework...

Yesterday I purchased two books to read to begin my preparations for planting a church in the next couple years. When I really got to thinking and looking at the amount of preparation I have to do to be ready to move out like that in the time frame I feel God is setting up...it was a little overwhelming. One book I got was from Ed Stetzer who has started numerous churches for the SBC. It it titled "Planting New Churches in a Postmodern Age". I know that I am Church of God...not baptist...but this guy really seems to know his stuff about starting successful churches that affect the community around them. the other was from Ralph Moore named "Starting a New Church". Those, coupled with some more that I am looking at by Stetzer and some John Maxwell stuff, will be all that I can handle for a little while. I am not much of a reader - so I am praying that God changes that in me as I start to jump into a whole mess of homework - oh, and did I mention that I work 40+ hours a week, and i am currently working toward a degree in engineering? Yeah, maybe it would be better if I just turned off the cable for a while. I am also looking into options of seminars or workshops to attend between now and then. I plan to make at least a couple trips to Boise in the mean time just to get a feel for the community more than I do now - not to mention picking up lunch at the Cracker Barrel while we're there. It's amazing the things that cross your mind when you dig deeper into something that you have never done or really been a part of before. I have also started a plan of action for planting the church once the time gets closer. So far it is just ideas and very general thoughts, but over the next couple months Crystal and I will be shaving it down to be more specific...I would like to have that in place at least a year before we move so that we cna pray for the things we need, as well as make any changes that God lays on our hearts. Flexibility is proving to be a key word for me with this. Start with a clean slate, and go from there. One big thing I am praying for is a team. I have people in mind that I would LOVE to take with us, but who knows if they are th least bit interested?? Our specific need is for a music leader. I am capable, but I desperately don't want to have to do the music and preach...people would get bored of looking at me all the time pretty quick - besides, there are a lot more capable people than me out there. Another need is pretty base and simple - we need workers. Crystal and I can't do everything - nor do we feel like that is the best way to do it. We are praying for a family or couple to come along with us that will work hard at growing a church...some of the nuts and bolts things as well as loving people, and reaching out into the community. As far as money goes, I'm not real concerned. My Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills - I'm sure he can afford rent and utilities for a little while.

Passion...

Have you ever experienced passion?? I don't mean want, need, or even desire - but passion. I guess I would define this as a desire so deep that you really have no choice but to go after it. dictionary.com explains it as a strong or EXTRAVAGANT fondness, enthusiasm or desire for anything. Well, I am beginning to understand that. I guess the more I think I understand it, the more I realize that I have no idea what it means. My passion is for lost souls in general, and lost souls in Boise, ID to be more specific.
I feel like a little kid in a hallway with a bunch of doors - none of them opened right now. I feel myself pushing on these doors, but none of them opened. They are closed for a combination of reasons - brought on both by things I have done, and things I have not done. I am trying to rest in the hallway, but someone just told me an iteration of an old quote "when God closes one door, He opens another one...but it may be Hell in the hallway".
That, of course, is a lot easier to know when you are in a room - not suspended between two rooms. My wife and I talked about moving to Boise again last night, and we are both well aware that it will be some time before we move - which makes the hallway look so much longer. Oh well, I'm sure God will use this time to teach me the things that I need to know in order to do what He has called me to do. Someone told me that one sign that God has called you is that you are scared to death to do it. That is definitely one overwhelming emotion I have felt about this possibility. On the other hand, now that I have had some time to pray and seek God about this, I have learned to embrace the calling through my fears. Of course, that doesn't mean that I will ever feel like I am ready, but I didn't FEEL ready to be a dad either, but that's going well so far. Once the passion to see Boise won over for Christ overcame the fear and selfishness involved with staying put, it got a lot easier, and a whole bunch less scary.

What a weekend...

Well, this was quite a weekend. I spent most of Saturday at the new church project putting siding on...we are almost completely finished with the building now - maybe another week or so. Saturday night I had my company Christmas party, and what a treat that was. I love watching people with no inhibition dancing after a few drinks. WOW - I will never look at some of my coworkers the same again. On the upside, I got a free dinner from a swanky restaurant here in town, and I won a door prize. Sunday morning we had church in the building, but not the new sanctuary. We were in the fireside room (it's about 25'x35'). We dismissed the kids at the beginning of service rather than after worship to make room, and it went great. I will say that I am glad it's only for a couple weeks, but hey, after 16 months in a tent, we can handle anything. We had 113 people there...and none of them seemed to mind that we were SUPER crowded. I think the spirit there was so nice and warm that people overlooked being crowded. I think it help being around the holiday season when everyone is a little more apt to want to be close to others...and the warmth is really nice too. Sunday afternoon we got our Christmas tree. We went out with my sister and her husband, and my parents. It was great, and we found the perfect Wills family Christmas tree. So, enough about that.
I also had a big realization this weekend. I kind of look at my faith as having two sides to it: the word oriented side and the spirit oriented side. Maybe looking at Mt. Sinai vs. Mt Zion. I have had no trouble with the academic things of knowing the Bible and memorizing scripture, however, I have also never really been into huge moves of the spirit in my life. I have no problem with them, and it's not as if I don't want the spirit to move, but I think my intellect has overrulled my spirit in those occasions. When I looked at that this weekend I realized that I have never REALLY fed my spirit man, but I have spent a lot of time feeding my Word man. I like having scripture memorized, and I know I have a good memory, so that is what I have fed. So, I think I am going to start looking for ways to feed my spirit man some more. I don't know exactly what that will look like, but I am going to find out. I have already decided to start going to the church prayer meetings every Tuesday night. Crystal has youth group, and my aunt watches Levi every Tuesday anyhow, so I think I am going to start with that. Once school starts up again, I'll have to figure something else out, but I have a few weeks here to go. Maybe that will jump start that part of my life, and I will have a good place to build from when school does start again...and my Tuesdays are full again. I would challenge you to do the same assessment...after all, as nice as Mt. Zion is, and as necessary as Mt. Sinai was, Mt. Calvary is the only one that really matters, and that is the balance between them.

Time to open up...

As I promised one reader of my blog, I am going to be using this blog to show the struggle between what I want, what God wants, and what Satan wants for me (which, of course, is death). So, here we go....
About 9 or 10 months ago now I decided that I was ready to lead a church. Whether it was through taking a church that opened up, or planting a church somewhere. I have no real lead pastor experience, no weekly teaching experience, and really, very limited shepherding experience. I knew how to lead, but leading and shepherding are totally different. So, I began to share these thoughts with my wife, and even our state overseer. He immediately got behind me and wanted to see me succeed. What he didn't know, is that I had a very good reason to want to get out of Bend. I had made some poor choices in my past, and thought that moving would cure the problem. I hated running into my past, and knowing that - in a small town like this - there was no escaping it. So, we looked into moving to Renton for a couple weeks, but I knew that I was not ready to go. In the week or so following us deciding not to move to Renton, God set some things up that have allowed me to start getting beyond my past. He really laid it on my heart that I can't carry that junk around with me when/if I am a pastor. So, I took some steps to begin the healing from what is now my old life. WOW, my eyes have really been open to just what I was dealing with. I went to a professional counselor just because I knew there was stuff that was too heavy for me to deal with on my own. Besides, I had spent my entire life trying to do things on my own - it was time to allow God, and someone else, to help me. To coin a phrase from a very wise cartoon (Shrek) I really am like an onion. There was so much junk below the surface that I never would have found, let alone deal with. Things from my childhood, adolescence and adulthood. Habits that I had formed from childhood, that had carried over into my adulthood. I truly felt like I was at an AA meeting admitting that I am powerless to these things. Of course, my counselor pointed out that I am powerless to everything, only the Christ in me has power over it...'my hope in glory'. I've spent the last almost 8 months now peeling back the layers that have covered me for most of my life. What a freedom we have in Jesus. It is amazing, and I never knew how amazing it was until I was 28. I have grown up in church, and it's true that he who is forgiven much, loves much. I never thought I was forgiven of much. There were even times I considered walking away from God just so I could come back to him and have this tremendous salvation experience. These past several months has taught me that I forgive much - and saved from even more. Now, whenever I do go out into full-time ministry, I know that I will be much better prepared, not only as a man and follow of Christ, but as a shepherd, leader, and lover of souls.

Week winding down...

Well, this week has been crazy for me. It was finals week at school, so I had that stuff going on Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night I went and worked at the church for a little bit siding the sound booth. We are getting SO close to being in there, I can wait. We are looking at probably two weeks in the fireside room before we can legally occupy the new sanctuary - and after that, the sky is the limit. There are 6 final inspections called in for today, so things are really getting close. So, let's see. Last night Crystal had a class that she has to have for her new job at the daycare. Levi and I had a great time going over to Papa and Nana's house to visit with them. He is such a great little boy - most of the time. I wish I could spend all my time with him, but, alas, somebody has to bring home the bacon.
Also, this week God has really moved on me again about planting a church. There have been som setbacks that clouded my desire to plant, and even got to a point of wondering if that truly is what God has for me. Well, after this week, I really feel like it is. I have several things to learn before that time rolls around, but I am hoping by the summer of 2009 I will be fully ready to move out on my own. Well, not so much on my own, but with God. I have this idea in my head of what I want it to look like when I do plant, and how I want to go about it, but reality is that my idea of it is pretty fantastic, so I'm sure it won't turn out exactly the way I see it in my head. I think the thing that makes me most nervous about planting a church is the weekly sermons. I like people, I am ready for the leap into the people side of it (or as ready as I'll ever be), but coming up with a sermon every week really intimidates me. Maybe in the next year or so I can teach a class or preach more often. All that will have to be worked out with my dad. I know he wants to see me fulfill my calling, but sometimes I wonder if he is willing to see me, Crystal, Levi, and our next one leave town, and live away a little bit. I would love to have some experience on staff at a church before stepping out on my own, but the fact is that there are only a couple churches in the PNW that are big enough to hire someone - and I don't want to work for the pastors at those churches. Maybe Father's House will grow quickly once we get into the building, and I could spend a year or so preparing that way...but that is another post. Well, I think that wraps it up for now...C-ya

First blog!!

Well, I am new to this, so bear with me a little bit for the first several posts - I'll get the hang of it. So, here we go...
Aren't the holidays great?? I love Thanksgiving, then we get into the full swing of Christmas and all that entails. Then, of course, we get to start a new year. I am looking forward to Christmas this year moree than I can ever remember looking forward to it in the past. I am listening to ridiculous amounts of Christmas music, and I was even the one that got ou the decorations for the house this year. Maybe this year I am a little more aware of the gift that Jesus Christ was to us. What an awesome thing we were given when He came to earth - ultimately to die. Maybe I am just looking forward to the time I get off of work during that time - 7 working days, and 11 straight days total-YIPPEE!!! I also like starting a new year. This year hasn't been much fun for me, and even less for my wife. So, I think we are both looking forward to better times in 2008.
Another thing that the holiday season means around here is Winterrific. Because the weather around here is so cold and snowy during the winter, our church - Father's House - started a new thing last winter. We call it Winterrific (get it: Winter + Terrific). We really get things ramped up to shove off the 'winter blahs'. We hang out a ton, playing games, eating, Bible studies, and much more - this year we are even having a country hoe-down (country is the theme this year). It is a great way to get new people in the doors, while having some indoor fun at the same time.
Well, I think that will do for my first post. Catcha later.