Passion...

Have you ever experienced passion?? I don't mean want, need, or even desire - but passion. I guess I would define this as a desire so deep that you really have no choice but to go after it. dictionary.com explains it as a strong or EXTRAVAGANT fondness, enthusiasm or desire for anything. Well, I am beginning to understand that. I guess the more I think I understand it, the more I realize that I have no idea what it means. My passion is for lost souls in general, and lost souls in Boise, ID to be more specific.
I feel like a little kid in a hallway with a bunch of doors - none of them opened right now. I feel myself pushing on these doors, but none of them opened. They are closed for a combination of reasons - brought on both by things I have done, and things I have not done. I am trying to rest in the hallway, but someone just told me an iteration of an old quote "when God closes one door, He opens another one...but it may be Hell in the hallway".
That, of course, is a lot easier to know when you are in a room - not suspended between two rooms. My wife and I talked about moving to Boise again last night, and we are both well aware that it will be some time before we move - which makes the hallway look so much longer. Oh well, I'm sure God will use this time to teach me the things that I need to know in order to do what He has called me to do. Someone told me that one sign that God has called you is that you are scared to death to do it. That is definitely one overwhelming emotion I have felt about this possibility. On the other hand, now that I have had some time to pray and seek God about this, I have learned to embrace the calling through my fears. Of course, that doesn't mean that I will ever feel like I am ready, but I didn't FEEL ready to be a dad either, but that's going well so far. Once the passion to see Boise won over for Christ overcame the fear and selfishness involved with staying put, it got a lot easier, and a whole bunch less scary.